Life in the Fast Lane: An Existential Crisis on the Way to Texas

After spending a few days in the car, barreling down endless highways towards Texas, I found myself in a spiral of uncertainty about my life. I mean, what am I supposed to do? This question, I know, is far from uncommon in your 20s, but in that moment, it hit me like a truck.

Here I am, living the dream of travelling and exploring the world, yet suddenly, the practicality of it all feels overwhelming. How do I afford this lifestyle sustainably for the next four or five years? The thought of returning to the UK and working in hospitality feels like a step backward.

I don’t want to spend my life chasing money through casual, unreliable jobs with long hours and little reward. While hospitality has been a great stepping stone, it’s not my end goal. Yet, if I keep “entertaining the temporary” by travelling and working odd jobs, what happens when I finally decide to settle down? Will I have the skills - or even the financial stability - to support the life I want?

Sitting in the car with Robin, trying not to let the lump in my throat or the tears welling in my eyes show, I sent my crisis in a series of messages to my mum and two of my closest friends. The responses I got were exactly what I needed.

Mum:

"Don’t stress too much as you will achieve. If anyone can, you can & I totally know you’ll be great at whatever you do and whenever you do it. You’ve never not applied yourself, and you’re talented across the board."

Her words reminded me of the resilience I’ve already proven to myself over the years. From building a brand in my teens to balancing multiple jobs, I’ve always shown up for myself.

Clarissa:

"There’s no point thinking so far ahead into the future right now. Live in the moment and enjoy it. You can think about settling down when you start planning for the next step of your life, but you’re not there yet. Take a breather."

She’s right. I’m not at the point where I need to have all the answers. Why am I trying to plan the rest of my life from the passenger seat of a car?

Grace:

"I completely understand, but you’re so young. Most people don’t have any clue what they’re supposed to do yet. The beauty is, you have so many options. You’re Zoë - you can literally do anything. Skill sets are learned on the job, and you’ll end up where you’re meant to be. Life is way too long to start worrying about settling down right now."

Grace’s words hit home. I do have options. I’ve built a foundation of skills - through travel, work, and creative projects - that I can carry with me. And who says I need to have everything figured out right now?

So, while the uncertainty is still there, I’m choosing to reframe it. I don’t have to know exactly where this road leads. For now, I’m embracing the beauty of the unknown and the privilege of exploring the world. The worries will come and go, but the experiences I’m collecting along the way are priceless.

To anyone else in their 20s feeling like they’re floating without a map: it’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Lean on the people who remind you of your strengths, take a breather, and trust the process. Life has a funny way of working itself out.